The Chains of Unforgiveness
by Jamie Britt, Guest Blogger
Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36 (NKJV)
Checking your email can be very dangerous sometimes. One morning last December I received an email that no one ever wants to read. It was from someone at church telling me we could no longer have contact. I was absolutely devastated. You see, this lady and I shared many conversations about deep life hurts and struggles. All that went out the window that day.
Several months prior, she had given me a CD of herself singing. I played it constantly. Now, I couldn’t listen to it and no longer enjoyed the peace that it brought. My emotions were in turmoil. For several months afterward, when she’d do a solo in church, I’d turn my head away. Friends would say, “That’s her loss,” but I didn’t want to hear it. All I wanted was the close bond we once shared back. God wanted to heal my heart but I didn’t accept the grace being extended. I wanted what I wanted, and wasn’t changing my mind. Have you ever been there?
Over the next few months, a dear friend gave me counsel. My friend advised that I give her space and try again in a few months. However, as time progressed, I was encouraged to move on. Again, my heart wasn’t receptive.
Do you know what was really difficult for me? I had to forgive her for what she had done. On several occasions I thought I’d forgiven her but realized later that I hadn’t. I was very bitter toward her.
Many times she’d see me in church and not speak to me and that wound would re-open. I refused to move past the pain. Then a lady I really admire said something I’ll never forget. “She isn’t worth your tears.” By that time, my heart was starting to be receptive to others’ counsel.
I was advised to pray for her and for her heart to change. But, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t want to pray for her. I wanted her to regret what she had done and ask for my forgiveness. But, I realized that might never happen. I’d think, “She’s moved on with her life, and probably doesn’t give me a second thought. Or if she does, she certainly doesn’t give the offense a thought.”
I commented to a friend that all I wanted was her friendship back. She helped me see that it wouldn’t be a good thing though. She said waiting for her to do the right thing wasn’t healthy for me physically or spiritually. God wants to move me in another direction, and I have to be willing to accept that.
And praise God, I can say that I’ve forgiven her. I’m finally free! I decided to put her CD in once more. And guess what happened? I was absolutely fine with it. I’m proud I am now able to listen to her music without any problem.
What do I hope you gain from my story? I encourage you, if you’ve not fully forgiven someone, please do it. Until you do, you will be in bondage to that person. God wants to set you free from those chains today. He wants to take you in a new direction, and if that means losing friends for that to happen, rejoice in it. It won’t be easy, but it’s so worth it.
Father, I pray for each reader today. Lord, if there’s someone they’ve not forgiven give them strength and courage to do it. You said on the cross, “Father forgive them; for they know not what they do.” I ask Lord that you prepare their hearts to receive the forgiveness that You offer as well as to forgive that person. Lord, we love You and we praise You. Amen.
MorningGloryLights.blogspot.com and CindyRooy.com. Stop by Jamie’s blog at www.encouragingwomen-strength.blogspot.com
© Heart Thoughts, Marcie Bridges, 2013