Wednesday, August 21, 2013

BURNING DESIRE


Psalm 145:17-21

The Lord is righteous in all His ways, Gracious in all His works.
The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.
He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them.
The Lord preserves all who love Him, But all the wicked He will destroy.
My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord,
And all flesh shall bless His holy name Forever and ever.
 
Have you ever had something in your life that you didn’t understand why God put it there? Maybe you struggle with a relationship, maybe finances, maybe an addiction or perhaps like me, you struggle with physical problems. And perhaps you have asked God a hundred times to take it away from you or to help you with it. Yet it seems He doesn’t hear and doesn’t answer. Has it ever become so overwhelming for you that you finally cried out to Him over it? I mean literally! Screaming, crying, flinging yourself on the floor wailing asking Him over and over for an answer???? Recently I went through one of those times and it took me 2 months to get through it and to really listen and find out what God’s answer would be. I spent that time just writing down my thoughts as they came. I hope it helps someone in some small way.
 
Sometimes in our desire to find answers from God we are lead into a deeper relationship with Him and we find we want to know God even more. I found that desire through this struggle with God (with my disability).
 
 
BURNING DESIRE
The question burns inside of me I’ve dared not ever ask

So personal so hard to think about it grieves me in my chest
I cannot think about it without feeling deep selfishness
Lord, I know You have an answer
But do I have the right to the request?
With many more on this planet who are worse off than I am
Do I have the right to make it heard?
It has only taken root inside my very core
Just recently I’ve discovered I even had the need.
Now I ask You humbly, this question upon my soul,
I wonder Lord, will You answer now
Or must I wait until I’m home
 
PART II
Lord, why is this bothering me so
Why am I suddenly so fearful
I thought I had accepted what You’ve given to me
Now it seems it has gotten too big
too heavy, too much
and I long for an answer to my questions
what must I do to hear them?
 
PART III
If I asked Lord, would you heal me?
If I want You to restore me, would You?
Such uncertainty, such regret,
That I never took the time to think any of this
Until now that I’m older, wiser I hope,
Have I waited too long to ask this of You?
Perhaps You’ve already answered and I haven’t heard
Maybe I’ve talked too much and not listened to a word

Yet now is the time... I feel pretty assured
You can handle these questions
You can take all the pressure
You can take all the anger 
and
You have an answer.
(~Marcell Warner Bridges, © November 2012)
 
PART IV

So Lord I asked You several times
and I,
I
cannot say I feel any better;
You say in Your Word to not worry
Not about what to wear
What we eat
Or the roof above our heads.
You even tell us not to worry about
TOMORROW.
Oh how I’ve worried lately Lord.
I’ve made everything about me.
Me, me, me, me.
Seems like lately my world has come
Crashing down around my head
And it has flowed all the way down
down, down, down
to the tips of my toes.
I don’t know where to turn
I don’t know what You want
I have listened to everyone’s counsel
I have listened to my own.
But I can’t seem to let it go
Let it sit at Your feet
I asked You to let me forget about it
even for a day...yet it stays...
All I want right now dear Lord,
is to rest in utter sweet peace.
(22 November 2012)
PART V
Today Lord, I was talking to you
And a thought occurred
It was very new
Perhaps I’ve heard Your answer
Perhaps I should listen to this
It felt so right and so real
I’m sure, I know it came from You.
It was just a whisper
Your still, small, voice
I heard it clear and I heard it in my heart
And there it was ...
Be thankful dear child for what I’ve given you
Be thankful for what you have.
Don’t worry about what might be in the future
Just trust Me
Everything will be okay.
Whatever I give you to go through
Even if it is what you fear the most
Just rely on Me in all things
That is where lies your hope.
Go on dear child, listen to Me,
I know you are scared through and through
But trust in what you know
Believe in your heart
Have faith like a child
And I’ll lead you through every valley
Over every mountain
Through every dark shadow
Every fear that you feel
Every time you need help
I’ll be here.
~Marcell Warner Bridges
©January, 2013
 
© Marcie Bridges, Heart Thoughts, 2013
 

 

4 comments:

  1. Hi Marcie! I am coming to you from Nan's blog.

    What a beautiful study in trying to discern God's will, and listening for an answer. It's so hard to wait, and so hard to think we might not get it right.

    But you heard the right thing...do not fear. Such a great lesson that I'll spend my life learning!

    So nice to meet you today!
    Ceil

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  2. HI Ceil! Thank you so much for stopping by! It really is a life-long lesson for each of us. Thank you for the kind words.

    Be Encouraged,
    Marcie :-)

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  3. Loved the poems! So poignant and yet there is hope in Him.
    I do understand the struggle. I've been asking much the same questions and received the same kinds of answers.
    Be still and know that I am God. I will fight this battle for you.
    Those who trust me will be strengthened in me.
    Worry not, I am your God who sustains you.
    I love birds, I take care of them, and I love you much much more.
    I will never leave you or forsake you.
    The devil means it for evil, but I've meant it for good.
    I know the plans I have for you. Plans of a good future in Me.
    And the focus of this year has been
    I need to decrease so that Christ increases.
    Self must go! Jesus must be LORD. We must submit more and resist the devil's distractions (even that of self-pity!) so that our Lord's nature is formed in us.
    May the Lord heal you completely. You do have the right to ask, and our God is not limited in His resources. He doesn't have to choose and prioritize what illnesses to heal because He can do away with all with just a word. What looks like just five loaves and two fishes is enough to feed a multitude! It's not a question of should I ask? but a hope-filled conviction that, whether He says yes or he says no, it will ultimately be the best answer for you. You have well noted this period of crying out has led you closer to Him. Press on! Knowing Him is better than life itself.

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  4. Thank you so much for the encouragement Carina! ~Marcie :-)

    ReplyDelete

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