I had been anticipating the Beth Moore conference for not just weeks but several months. I knew God wanted me to be there for some reason and I couldn’t wait to find out what He had in store for me. Seldom is it that I do not get a fresh word from her on whatever topic God has entrusted her with that weekend. This one did not disappoint. I really can’t figure out what is wrong with me lately though. Over the past few months I have cried so many times when it comes to spiritual things. I even cried during a time of worship at my own church a few Sunday’s ago and just let the tears stream down my face instead of holding them in. This is not like me. I don’t cry just to cry. I’m not the wife that the husband asks, “Honey, why are you crying?” and in reply she yells, “I don’t know!” I’m usually the only lady in the audience who isn’t crying about something when the rest are. (Don’t get me wrong. I will probably at least have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.) I don’t cry at movies and I don’t cry in front of people. Ever. Period. So why am I all of the sudden so emotional in church and at this conference?
Here’s what I know to be true. God has certainly been at work in my life lately. I cannot tell you specifically about it right now but I can tell you that I’m working to know what God truly wants not only from me, but in me. Not only for me, but for those around me.
Jeremiah 29:13-14 “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.” (NKJV)
I’m learning that when I really, truly seek after God and His desires in my life, it is quite the emotional roller-coaster! When God reveals Himself to us, we are freed from our captivity and we are ready to live a more victorious life! Why wouldn’t I get emotional over that?
God has such a way with words doesn’t He? I couldn’t believe the many times I sat there and felt so humbled by the way He spoke through Beth to me. I just know when I get to Heaven and I am standing there at t His throne, that even though I am in that massive, never ending sea of people, I will feel as if I am the only one in His presence at that moment and He is speaking just to me and me alone.
Father I thank You that You always know what we need to hear just when we need to hear it and You always know the right person to tell us what we need to hear from You, when we need to hear it.