“Casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7
The day began as any other day as I rolled my pregnant body off of the bed and wobbled out of my bedroom. Just two more weeks and I would finally be able to see our little girl face to face.
The only difference in this day is that I woke up with an unbelievable urge to clean my house. Dressed in sweat pants, oversized favorite t-shirt of my husbands and white socks, I began my usual cleaning of dishes and bathroom then proceeded to clean the living room. I had decided to dust so I went to the kitchen, which has linoleum flooring, pulled the dusting spray from underneath the kitchen sink and began to spray it on the cloth. For whatever reason, still unknown to myself to this day, I did not spray it over the carpeting nor over the trash can. I stood in the middle of the kitchen and sprayed the cloth very well. Then I took one step towards the living room and the next thing I knew I was flat on my back on the kitchen floor. Not only that, but as I fell I heard a crunch. You know the joke, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up?” Well, there I was, 37 weeks pregnant, lying on the floor on my back and my right arm would not work and was bent in a weird position and I could NOT get up! I slid my swollen body using my left arm/hand as a help around the counter, pulled my purse off of the counter and used my cell phone to call my husband.
Once at the hospital the first concern was for my daughter. When they checked on her and found she was fine, that is when the pain hit me and the real tears began to fall. After x-rays they determined 3 things. Both bones in my right arm were broken, the radial head shattered and I had dislocated my elbow. Thus began six months of my arm bent and physical therapy before they finally realized my arm wasn’t going to go any straighter so to this day it stays bent at a 45 degree angle.
But you see, that wasn’t all that was shattered. The next week I had a c-section to give birth to our first child and it was one of the most beautiful days of my life! However, I could only hold her. I couldn’t bathe her, feed her, burp her, clothe her, etc.... all I could do was hold her and I worried we’d never bond as mother and child. At some point in the next months I learned to drive and take care of our daughter one-handed. I was determined to make it work and to make the most of what I had to work with. I wanted more than anything to take care of her by myself so I taught myself to do it. I quit wallowing in my brokeness, and I began to lean on God to help me to take care of myself and our baby.
So many times in life we make plans only to see them side-lined by unexpected events. We allow our circumstances to keep us from doing what we know we should do or even want to do. We look at that shattered piece of china of our life that fell on the floor and we put it on a shelf to glue together later, but we never fix it and more importantly, we never let God fix it. We wallow in our own broken, self-pity but Jesus is just waiting for you to come to Him with your broken plans, broken dreams, broken hearts and broken lives. He wants you to lay them down at the foot of the cross and leave them there to let Him glue back together the broken things in your life. Yes, there will be cracks and scars, but they will be beautiful if you will let Him make them a testimony of His faithfulness and grace in your life.
Oh Father God, please use the broken pieces of our lives as a reflection of You. May we use them to minister to others who have gone through similar circumstances. Give us the ability to lay them down at Your feet and leave each burden there so we can be used as vessels for Your glory. May our sorrows be turned to laughter and joy in You.